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As a small child I knew I was connected to something that I had no words to describe. No one ever asked me so that was never an issue. I will call this something Presence. It taught me everything. How to create things from nothing, how to see things that no one else saw, and how to listen to its direction with total trust. I had no idea at the time that this was how it was all meant to be. I just had fun with it and lived in my own world. It was magical place and I could create anything I wanted to in my imagination.
As time progressed and especially from age 10 on, I began to feel that there was no real place in this world for me. It all became a big blur and I had to find ways to survive. I did that by experiencing many stages of change. Some of them were not pretty. I learned to manipulate to get attention, I learned how to compete and win. At other times I would shut down, hide and go in and out of depression. During those different stages I would become fanatical, too aggressive, withdrawn, and the only consistency was that I kept struggling to find “my voice.” Nothing worked. I did everything I knew to do and spent many hours crying. No one that I cared about, most importantly my parents, “saw” me.
These patterns continued through early adulthood, marriage, motherhood and finally when I was in my early 30’s I sought Therapy. That was a beginning. From there I began my Spiritual Search. That period went on for about 20 years. I did grow and experienced many unusual and dramatic scenarios. None of them stuck or filled the void. I Kept seeking for something, just did not know what it was.
In my early 50’s two major teachings came into my life. A Course In Miracles and then An Infinite Way. The both spoke to me deeply and addressed the road to Inner Peace in ways that resonated. From then until now they, and other wonderful Teachers of Truth, pointed me to reconnect with my Essence and I know now that is where Peace resides.
The Voice I was seeking all these years has returned. It was there in those very early years, before world mind took over. When I recently found out that I was from the “Silent Generation” it all made so much sense. We were supposed to be seen and not heard. That is exactly what I experienced and it was a gift to finally understand it.
If you are from that generation, or if you feel your Voice does not have the power you know it is capable of, please contact me. I have the tools, or can assist you in finding the ones needed to support you in reclaiming Who You Are.
Thank you, Namaste.